Hannukuh Harry & The Schwindling Sedar

OK so my first question is what happened to Sarbanes-Oxley and it's requirement that "the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) implement rulings on requirements to comply with the law"? I know, it was intended for those dry and sometimes stinky-english-rose-smelling accountants but if you read the papers or purview much streaming media these days you will notice that under the Neo-Cons the SEC was nothing more than a castrated snake in the disguise of a white middle-aged college educated Christian! Oh wait, is that not what ALL white middle aged christian men in "finance" are, SNAKES? So where does my brother Bernard MADoff fall? Brother? Brother like Cain to Abel, Esau to Jacob, Ishmael to Isaac...Arab to Jew! Well, maybe not that extreme. I am sure sweet Bernie's house will be clean of all chametz and eat only Matzoh in a few weeks at Passover because he probably still pays some poor lady from Guadalupe $3 a day to clean his condo and make sure his holiday food is kashrut. Snake, Jewish snake, what a pity but redemption is possible, I will post the Lubavitch prayer line for Yom Kippur Mr. Madoff and we expect a few million dollars to go to Chabad Houses in the Southeastern US so we can continue converting their lost souls.

Where can we start with this G-d forbidden mess? Lives have been destroyed in their "golden years", elderly citizens and retirees who worked honestly and more than ethically have lost everything...who will repay? Young single-parent families who "squeeked by" at the loan office got that house loan and continued working 55 hours a week for minimum wage lost everything...who will repay? Ill-informed single parent moms renewed mortgages on the houses that their lame ass wet dick husbands gave up to them at the "courts" behest becasue of their infidelity, refinanced their mortgages and included one too many unsecured bills and found their house belonging to Chase with no where to go...who will repay? An 18 year old beautiful high-school senior died en route between the local prized Baptist hospital and the county medical center from an Asthma attack because his dad lost his job and health benefits three months ago...who will repay?

No one can repay nor should they. The bleeding has to stop now and I suggest it unfold in the following manner:

Sometimes I am afraid it all began a little over eight years ago on that beautiful Fall morning Sept. 11 2001. The seeds had already been sewn for some financial demise but not the rampant implosion that has occurred since then. I sometimes think that after 9-11 that many of the rightful needs to follow up and investigate rogue transactions and securities issues that our various governmental agencies - the SEC, the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board, and other governmental agencies - became so stifled due to our countries stewards obsession with business as usual and maintaining a portrayal of normalcy that what fell in place was this sick neo-con quid pro quo way of getting in low in the mornig and out high in the afternoon.

We all fell into the trap. Our latest clothes, car buys, bling-bling wraps, we raffled our kids student loans off and they weren't even finished with their sophomore year, we signed off on our employers raffling of our health benefits outsourced to a third party in India...every freaking year! We didn't ask when a new no name securities firm sent us letters stating they just purchased our home mortgage. Then they offered us a second mortgage with lower payments and some really nifty little hidden agendas that helped them "get rich fast". We all became day traders and were playing the shorts for a long time, eventhough a lot of us have no clue what that means.

The Neo-Cons regulated and de-regulated whetever they wished to at will and we the people went along with it. This was hedonism at it's prime and possibly the time where the guf is empty and no souls are emanating from it any more. We all turned into a bunch of incestuous Romans lieing around eating fresh fruit matured off of growth hormones and antibiotics not yet approved by the FDA and sexually molested the little Aztec kids who harvested the produce for us. Now that the crops will not yield any edible portions we cannot figure out what the problem is...G-d, call in the EPA, FDA, FEMA, FHA, SEC. We look like the cosmopolitan crowd soon-to-be-christian / pagan revellers adjuring Pontius Pilate to crucify that Jesus. Oh wait, you have been comforted all this time by being told that it was the dirty Jews who crucified that Jesus, sorry, but it wasn't. It was those stinky fish smelling Turks, Romans, Syrians & Assyrians.

My suggestion to solve this mess: GLoBAL IMmUNiTY. Every banker, institution, fund, prior administration member, and citizen should be granted full immunity from any recourse from wrong-doing that may arise from the past 10 years of DTM (day trading mentaltiy) and offer the following cushion to those stupid homeowners that bought beyond their means: forgive all loans in arrears within a six month default or foreclosed status...if the payments were delinquent within only six months then the new banking loans should open up access to money for those people to get their payments back in order and enact a national six month forebearance law for these people so they can immediately begin payments up to date...the freaking banks will not lose anything but interest for a few months and in some cases may be able to work out a reduced payment or say a revised principal premium for six months.

Sarbanes-Oxley only removed the onus of accountability from the true bean counters onto individuals far removed from his books...some lowly guy working in a warehouse thousands of miles away required to quarterly validate that he has done specific requirements with the SOX standards and have on hand so if some jolly-jocker from Ernst & Young shows up he can authenticate his audit.

So, wipe it all clean President Obama. Approach it like major league baseball and the cycling federation - from this day forward any slick attempting to so much misappropriate or misrepresent a pencil will have hell to pay...whether he works for the SEC or on Wall Street. Forgive them, let it be....but carry a heavy stick from this day forward.

Bernie, you set the cup out for Elijah and I'll bring the Manishevitz!

This is why I am glad I am a Socialist.