OK so my first question is what happened to Sarbanes-Oxley and it's requirement that "the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) implement rulings on requirements to comply with the law"? I know, it was intended for those dry and sometimes stinky-english-rose-smelling accountants but if you read the papers or purview much streaming media these days you will notice that under the Neo-Cons the SEC was nothing more than a castrated snake in the disguise of a white middle-aged college educated Christian! Oh wait, is that not what ALL white middle aged christian men in "finance" are, SNAKES? So where does my brother Bernard MADoff fall? Brother? Brother like Cain to Abel, Esau to Jacob, Ishmael to Isaac...Arab to Jew! Well, maybe not that extreme. I am sure sweet Bernie's house will be clean of all chametz and eat only Matzoh in a few weeks at Passover because he probably still pays some poor lady from Guadalupe $3 a day to clean his condo and make sure his holiday food is kashrut. Snake, Jewish snake, what a pity but redemption is possible, I will post the Lubavitch prayer line for Yom Kippur Mr. Madoff and we expect a few million dollars to go to Chabad Houses in the Southeastern US so we can continue converting their lost souls.
Where can we start with this G-d forbidden mess? Lives have been destroyed in their "golden years", elderly citizens and retirees who worked honestly and more than ethically have lost everything...who will repay? Young single-parent families who "squeeked by" at the loan office got that house loan and continued working 55 hours a week for minimum wage lost everything...who will repay? Ill-informed single parent moms renewed mortgages on the houses that their lame ass wet dick husbands gave up to them at the "courts" behest becasue of their infidelity, refinanced their mortgages and included one too many unsecured bills and found their house belonging to Chase with no where to go...who will repay? An 18 year old beautiful high-school senior died en route between the local prized Baptist hospital and the county medical center from an Asthma attack because his dad lost his job and health benefits three months ago...who will repay?
No one can repay nor should they. The bleeding has to stop now and I suggest it unfold in the following manner:
Sometimes I am afraid it all began a little over eight years ago on that beautiful Fall morning Sept. 11 2001. The seeds had already been sewn for some financial demise but not the rampant implosion that has occurred since then. I sometimes think that after 9-11 that many of the rightful needs to follow up and investigate rogue transactions and securities issues that our various governmental agencies - the SEC, the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board, and other governmental agencies - became so stifled due to our countries stewards obsession with business as usual and maintaining a portrayal of normalcy that what fell in place was this sick neo-con quid pro quo way of getting in low in the mornig and out high in the afternoon.
We all fell into the trap. Our latest clothes, car buys, bling-bling wraps, we raffled our kids student loans off and they weren't even finished with their sophomore year, we signed off on our employers raffling of our health benefits outsourced to a third party in India...every freaking year! We didn't ask when a new no name securities firm sent us letters stating they just purchased our home mortgage. Then they offered us a second mortgage with lower payments and some really nifty little hidden agendas that helped them "get rich fast". We all became day traders and were playing the shorts for a long time, eventhough a lot of us have no clue what that means.
The Neo-Cons regulated and de-regulated whetever they wished to at will and we the people went along with it. This was hedonism at it's prime and possibly the time where the guf is empty and no souls are emanating from it any more. We all turned into a bunch of incestuous Romans lieing around eating fresh fruit matured off of growth hormones and antibiotics not yet approved by the FDA and sexually molested the little Aztec kids who harvested the produce for us. Now that the crops will not yield any edible portions we cannot figure out what the problem is...G-d, call in the EPA, FDA, FEMA, FHA, SEC. We look like the cosmopolitan crowd soon-to-be-christian / pagan revellers adjuring Pontius Pilate to crucify that Jesus. Oh wait, you have been comforted all this time by being told that it was the dirty Jews who crucified that Jesus, sorry, but it wasn't. It was those stinky fish smelling Turks, Romans, Syrians & Assyrians.
My suggestion to solve this mess: GLoBAL IMmUNiTY. Every banker, institution, fund, prior administration member, and citizen should be granted full immunity from any recourse from wrong-doing that may arise from the past 10 years of DTM (day trading mentaltiy) and offer the following cushion to those stupid homeowners that bought beyond their means: forgive all loans in arrears within a six month default or foreclosed status...if the payments were delinquent within only six months then the new banking loans should open up access to money for those people to get their payments back in order and enact a national six month forebearance law for these people so they can immediately begin payments up to date...the freaking banks will not lose anything but interest for a few months and in some cases may be able to work out a reduced payment or say a revised principal premium for six months.
Sarbanes-Oxley only removed the onus of accountability from the true bean counters onto individuals far removed from his books...some lowly guy working in a warehouse thousands of miles away required to quarterly validate that he has done specific requirements with the SOX standards and have on hand so if some jolly-jocker from Ernst & Young shows up he can authenticate his audit.
So, wipe it all clean President Obama. Approach it like major league baseball and the cycling federation - from this day forward any slick attempting to so much misappropriate or misrepresent a pencil will have hell to pay...whether he works for the SEC or on Wall Street. Forgive them, let it be....but carry a heavy stick from this day forward.
Bernie, you set the cup out for Elijah and I'll bring the Manishevitz!
This is why I am glad I am a Socialist.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Kosher Felching
Let me begin by saying that at no time in the past 41 years of my life have I been treated for any type of obsessive quirks requiring psychotropic redirection or intervention but... every time I walk into the kitchen or think about food I immediately begin mentally scanning what I call a "kosher report card" and I fail every time. What/who is a Jew? What is frum/observant? What is Kashrut/Kosher?
It would take volumes beyond all of the ruminations on Talmud, Gemarrah, & Mishna to simply answer what is kosher so this is not an attempt to define it nor any of the other above three issues but I will say: being a Jew is easy, being observant is difficult, being kashrut is IMPOSSIBLE!
"You look Jewish"... What? Do I have curly dark hair? Do I have dark eyes? Do I have a big nose? Do I wear a Yarmulka? NO - I have light brown hair, a big forehead, blue eyes, a funky nose, and the last Yarmulka I owned got used as a coffee coaster. Did G-d tell Moshe Rabinu that he LOOKED Jewish? "You look Jewish" an acquaintance who is a college professor told me a couple months ago. Well, you sound like a institutionalized bigot.
You look Jewish are you Frum? To some you cannot be observant unless you are Kosher or Kosher unless you are observant. What is observant? I do my best to observe that the teachings of the Torah were imparted to mankind for us to use as a blueprint, schedule, plan, guide, etc. But I must confess that I have fallen short in remaining true to all 613 mitzvot. Which makes me "more Jewish": the PROscriptions or the PREscriptions?
To some Rebbe's it is all or none - you cannot be half Jewish, partially observant, minimally kosher. I have tried to maintain a kosher diet for the last few months and... when I use a knife in the kitchen drawer at work that was used to cut a piece of ham the day before my apple becomes trefah...non kosher, unfit. If I use a pan to cook meat that previously cooked dairy in it and have not cleansed it in a specifically prescibed arduous manner then all food in that comtainer has been defiled. Food products validated by the local Vaad brethren or Glatt Kosher flock are so exhorbitantly priced I need to make "six figures" just to afford snacks. The last time I checked the Talmud there was no exegesis on sanctifying my enjoyment in titilating my boyfriends sphincter with my tongue and he is a goy so that immediately is non-kosher. What do I do???
A Jew is a Jew is a Jew!
Robert Kennedy once said: "You will not be judged for what you change on this earth but what you desire to change."
The day that I cease trying to be more observant and more kosher is the day that I am no longer a Jew.
Blessed is He who divided the sacred frm the secular.
It would take volumes beyond all of the ruminations on Talmud, Gemarrah, & Mishna to simply answer what is kosher so this is not an attempt to define it nor any of the other above three issues but I will say: being a Jew is easy, being observant is difficult, being kashrut is IMPOSSIBLE!
"You look Jewish"... What? Do I have curly dark hair? Do I have dark eyes? Do I have a big nose? Do I wear a Yarmulka? NO - I have light brown hair, a big forehead, blue eyes, a funky nose, and the last Yarmulka I owned got used as a coffee coaster. Did G-d tell Moshe Rabinu that he LOOKED Jewish? "You look Jewish" an acquaintance who is a college professor told me a couple months ago. Well, you sound like a institutionalized bigot.
You look Jewish are you Frum? To some you cannot be observant unless you are Kosher or Kosher unless you are observant. What is observant? I do my best to observe that the teachings of the Torah were imparted to mankind for us to use as a blueprint, schedule, plan, guide, etc. But I must confess that I have fallen short in remaining true to all 613 mitzvot. Which makes me "more Jewish": the PROscriptions or the PREscriptions?
To some Rebbe's it is all or none - you cannot be half Jewish, partially observant, minimally kosher. I have tried to maintain a kosher diet for the last few months and... when I use a knife in the kitchen drawer at work that was used to cut a piece of ham the day before my apple becomes trefah...non kosher, unfit. If I use a pan to cook meat that previously cooked dairy in it and have not cleansed it in a specifically prescibed arduous manner then all food in that comtainer has been defiled. Food products validated by the local Vaad brethren or Glatt Kosher flock are so exhorbitantly priced I need to make "six figures" just to afford snacks. The last time I checked the Talmud there was no exegesis on sanctifying my enjoyment in titilating my boyfriends sphincter with my tongue and he is a goy so that immediately is non-kosher. What do I do???
A Jew is a Jew is a Jew!
Robert Kennedy once said: "You will not be judged for what you change on this earth but what you desire to change."
The day that I cease trying to be more observant and more kosher is the day that I am no longer a Jew.
Blessed is He who divided the sacred frm the secular.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Hamas, Hizbullah & Hasidim
I was trying my best to wait a week after President Obama's inauguration before I blogged again but spent most of Shabbat replaying over and over in my head the threat about Israel by that shit-head Sa'udi Prince Turki al-Faisal. Of all days, this Sa'udi koos has to interupt my time of rest, renewal and reflection and force me to think about his stinky bung hole and dream of pissing on his face!
Prince Turki stated that his nations relationship with America would be threatened if we do not force Israel to accept an Arab peace plan with the Palestinians. First of all, what relationship? Second, Arab peace plan? He can't be serious! This must be the peace plan that floated to heaven with Muhammed and all those virgin sharmootas.
Let's be reasonable for a moment. Not one of the countries surrounding Israel desires to assist in solving the Palestinian problem because they all have faced issues in the past similar to the current conflict and could face more in the future within their own borders. The Egyptians have maintained as tight of a border between them and Gaza as that into Israel due to the large amount of arms being smuggled from Egypt to the territory. The Jordanians already have enough Palestinians in their country to keep them busy and do not want any trouble stirred up there. Syria refused entry into their country of Iraqi Palestinians after Sadaam Husseins fall even though they were being murdered, raped, and pillaged by their own Koran-loving-jihadist-brothers in Iraq. Lebannon...pity the nation, couldn't help them unless they desired a Hizbullah membership card. As long as the conflict remains inside of Israel the Arab world feels like it can further neutralize Israeli influence and sovereignty in the region and at the same time use it to blow smoke up their own camels asses.
This is not a 'who is right and who is wrong post' on this issue...that has been discussed for many years and I personally do not care. I simply support the dissolution and or extrication of Hamas, PLO, and other terrorist groups from within the borders of Israel. I guess Prince Turki thinks that his countries continuous monetary assistance to Hamas, suicide bomber families, convicted terrorists, and armament smuggling all within Israel is a secret.
It may be to some people but it cannot be denied that Hamas receives assistance from Al-Qaeda, Hizbullah, and Iran in their desire to form an Islamic theocracy over all the land of Israel "from the Mediterranean Sea to the Jorsdan River" ...and we are supposed to give in to the Sa'udi threat.
No sleep for Gaza until Gilad Shalit is returned!
Prince Turki stated that his nations relationship with America would be threatened if we do not force Israel to accept an Arab peace plan with the Palestinians. First of all, what relationship? Second, Arab peace plan? He can't be serious! This must be the peace plan that floated to heaven with Muhammed and all those virgin sharmootas.
Let's be reasonable for a moment. Not one of the countries surrounding Israel desires to assist in solving the Palestinian problem because they all have faced issues in the past similar to the current conflict and could face more in the future within their own borders. The Egyptians have maintained as tight of a border between them and Gaza as that into Israel due to the large amount of arms being smuggled from Egypt to the territory. The Jordanians already have enough Palestinians in their country to keep them busy and do not want any trouble stirred up there. Syria refused entry into their country of Iraqi Palestinians after Sadaam Husseins fall even though they were being murdered, raped, and pillaged by their own Koran-loving-jihadist-brothers in Iraq. Lebannon...pity the nation, couldn't help them unless they desired a Hizbullah membership card. As long as the conflict remains inside of Israel the Arab world feels like it can further neutralize Israeli influence and sovereignty in the region and at the same time use it to blow smoke up their own camels asses.
This is not a 'who is right and who is wrong post' on this issue...that has been discussed for many years and I personally do not care. I simply support the dissolution and or extrication of Hamas, PLO, and other terrorist groups from within the borders of Israel. I guess Prince Turki thinks that his countries continuous monetary assistance to Hamas, suicide bomber families, convicted terrorists, and armament smuggling all within Israel is a secret.
It may be to some people but it cannot be denied that Hamas receives assistance from Al-Qaeda, Hizbullah, and Iran in their desire to form an Islamic theocracy over all the land of Israel "from the Mediterranean Sea to the Jorsdan River" ...and we are supposed to give in to the Sa'udi threat.
No sleep for Gaza until Gilad Shalit is returned!
Monday, January 19, 2009
A Wreath On Main
I moved to Memphis about four years ago and one night while I was visiting a part of downtown that appears to struggle through necessary urban renewal projects I found myself gazing at this place called the Lorraine Motel... "hello" I had to say to myself out loud once I realized where I was. It was the spot where one of the greatest Americans died and becasue of him what will unfold tomorrow, Tuesday, January 20, 2009 will not be a dream!
Friday eveing, easing down Main with friends and strangers.
Gallery one, nice glassware, hot boy, cheap champagne.
Friday evening, easing down Main with feigns and bangers.
Gallery two, rasta-man speaks, good water, shares his pain.
Friday evening, easing down Main with love and hate.
Gallery three, fat lady makes love to old picture, cheap bourbon, asks if I want to hide on Main.
Friday evening, easing down Main with lonely spirits not nowing the innate.
Gallery four, empty space with a hollow pop, holy wine that smells like blood, across the street from that wreath hanging on the rail like a bullseye at the Lorraine.
Friday evening, the stroll down Main ended on the Fourth of April.
Friday eveing, easing down Main with friends and strangers.
Gallery one, nice glassware, hot boy, cheap champagne.
Friday evening, easing down Main with feigns and bangers.Gallery two, rasta-man speaks, good water, shares his pain.
Friday evening, easing down Main with love and hate.
Gallery three, fat lady makes love to old picture, cheap bourbon, asks if I want to hide on Main.
Friday evening, easing down Main with lonely spirits not nowing the innate.
Gallery four, empty space with a hollow pop, holy wine that smells like blood, across the street from that wreath hanging on the rail like a bullseye at the Lorraine.
Friday evening, the stroll down Main ended on the Fourth of April.
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